It's 7pm and I'm sitting on the couch in the playroom trying my hardest to drown out the screaming of two exhausted toddlers while I answer emails that are coming in by the hour. At the exact same moment I can feel a lump in my throat which means, sickness is on the verge and my second cup of coffee will not stand a chance for tonight's workload. Dinner still needs to be prepared. I'm pretty sure we can't skip baths, since we did yesterday. and the amount of work that I need to get done before tomorrow morning is unimaginable.
More times than not, I just do. But there are times when the overwhelming list of to-do's of a single mother and entreprenuer get the best of me. Today is one of those days.
Motherhood on it's own is a job in itself. From the moment I open my eyes, i'm in go mode: with breakfast, and snacks, keeping them occupied while I work, potty training, breaking up fights, naps, more snacks, lunch, pre-school drop offs/pick ups, more snacks, more potty training, breaking up teenage arguments (once the older boys get home from school), homework, dinner, bathtime, bedtime, and so on. Then there's the household duties that well, tend to get pushed back, hence the three loads of laundry that still need to be done. and the clean load thats been sitting in a basket in the corner of my room that we've been pulling from. When your three year old asks which is the clean basket and which is the dirty one, you know it's a problem. lol
Running a business is like 10 peoples job in itself. Literally. I'm doing customer service, packaging, shipping, design, production, administrative, marketing, website, sales, social media, and the list goes on and on.
On days like today, although I feel incredibly blessed, I feel incredibly overwhelmed. As one person, you can imagine it's a lot and my plate runneth over.
Someone told me that I look as though I have it all figured out, and all I could do was laugh. The truth is, I absolutely do not. I am barely holding on most days. I probably cry from exhaustion or stress at least 3 times a week, and that's okay. It's hard. It's emotional. I am being stretched and pulled beyond reason, and although it's challenging, it's also shaping me into the woman who is capable of showing up and not backing down to whatever is being thrown my way--aka, life.
I am in the thick of it. I am raising four beautiful children on my own. I am building a business from the ground up. This is indeed the hardest season I could possibly be in, and I know it. It won't always be like this. My little babes won't always need me. My step sons will be going off to college in a couple of years and living their own independent lives, and I'll miss days like today. The business will continue to grow, and so will my team.
This is what I try to focus on. This is what I pivot my energy to when things start to overwhelm me. Instead of feeling defeated, I *try* to turn that into inspiration. This season, no matter how ridiculously hard it is, is only a season. The challenges will always be there, but not like the ones I am facing today. That is the beauty of life, of growth, and progression.
Not sure who this post is for, but know you are not alone, and you most definitely got this.